The Present is Not a Gift

I thought I'd let the voices in my head nap. They are like babies. They need baths, cry a lot and wake you up in the middle of the night. I slept through it all, until tonight.

And now, they're all quiet. They are sneaky, these voices.

One minute they scream,  "Stand up and be counted! God dammit!" Next minute, "Move along now, there's nothing to see here, mind your own business." I get tired, not confused by the choices. There should be something in the middle. Not as noble as "Be the change you wish to see", never mind I never understood it;  but more like " Grow a pair already!"

There is nothing noble about courage here though. Courage now requires a colour. And a side. And a careful weighing of the odds. I am fascinated by how many of my countrymen are ready to start a revolution. They all live abroad. How easy they can name the waddling ducks, the bleating sheep, the racist bastards. Open the papers and everyone has a solution, shame not one can name the problem. At least not openly. And so they prance around with names. Corruption. Nepotism. Racism. Poverty. Indians. Blacks. Soup drinker.

It's a curious thing I find that we say Indo- Guyanese and Afro - Guyanese. Can't recall any Indian here saying I am Indo - Guyanese. What does that mean anyway?

But back to the naming of parts. We seldom hear friend. "My ticket to stardom." Enabler. Racist. Martyrs. Heroes. Father of the Nation is no longer true. So too is Leader of the Opposition.

The landscape is filled with shift-shapers. We want a revolution but we don't want to go to war.  We want less corrupt politicians and public officers but we drive without licenses, evade taxes, are power hungry and have status pusses. We want this dear land of ours to "develop" and get better but we send our children to foreign schools and watch them get high on the "empire state of mind" and we applaud them loudly.

And in Linden, there are people who will die for a cause they don't understand. For a people that will never be grateful. For a history that will never be written. For a change that will never come. Instead we will sing a few hymns, make a few speeches, write a few letters, establish committees, invite "massas" and then head off to German's. Or Beacon. The soup is always good.